Four Generations

I wanted to show you my grandma. I have to say I don’t have many pictures of her…but I remembered this one. When Kiersten was born (she is the doll face baby you see) my mom visited us and brought my grandma along. My mom really wanted to take a four generations picture and so we did.

I am thankful.

I hadn’t seen my grandma in many years but Memorial Day weekend when Ezekiel and I flew out to see my older brother graduate I got to see and hug her.

I am thankful.

This year I made it a point to call my grandma on her birthday. We didn’t talk long or say much of consequence but I heard her voice and she heard mine and I let her know I loved her.

I am thankful.

My dear grandma went to be with Jesus on Tuesday. She quietly and peacefully went into his arms and is rejoicing with all the angels and saints.

I am thankful.

My mom got to be with her during her final moments here. She really wanted to be there and she was blessed.

I am thankful.

Grandma feels no more pain.

I am thankful.

One day, when Jesus calls me home, I’ll see that sweet face once again. It makes me weep with joy. Such a gift to know. I treasure that I KNOW.

I AM SO THANKFUL.

How to Make Sense of Something that Makes No Sense

It isn’t my way to write about things too close to home or too personal. Sure, I share about the family and the day to day goings on. Sometimes I am a bit dramatic or sarcastic depending but usually not overly serious.

It just isn’t to be today.

We, that is My Beloved I, have been struggling a bit. Some weeks ago a co-worker of Beloved’s took his own life. It is a bit of an understatement to say it came as a complete shock. So much so that one person even called the local Sheriff’s office to confirm – it was just that unbelievable.

I cannot say as I was intimately acquainted with this family. We’ve met over Christmas parties and zoo outings. Beloved spoke often to and knew this co-worker well. He’d been there before Beloved and they’ve always shared the same locker room and lunchroom. He was an excellent worker, in the words of my ‘Dree (short for Husbandree).

When I heard I instantly thought of who was left behind, his wife and their 4 children. All faces that came to mind right then and there. I saw them as if they were in my living room. My heart aches. I hurt and I cannot imagine and I struggle to make sense. I wonder what in the world? And how can we help? Can we reach out to this aching, devastated family and walk life with them? Can we love on them and let them be real?

So many emotions, thoughts and feelings. So many.

My Beloved will still say he cannot wrap his mind around what happened. It is one of those situations where you have to tell your mind and heart that short of heaven it will never make sense. You’ll never know and you’ll always wonder. There is no closure. It just hurts.

The Lord is using it to speak to each of us, to draw us closer to one another and to Him. He is using it to renew the way my mind thinks of life, the way I take for granted that I have many days on this earth. How I misuse and mistreat what time I have been given. How I am not purposeful and deliberate but careless.

It isn’t morbid thinking for I am not dwelling on thoughts of death but rather of life and living this one life well. Living full and loving much and not ending each day with so many regrets over words spoken harshly and rashly. Anger that overwhelmed what could have been done in love. The Lord has gotten my attention, opened my eyes and my heart and I am seeing my need and my weaknesses and areas that need cleaning up and handing over. I am thankful He never choses to leave us as we are but always, in love, is pushing us to wear the robe of righteousness, of Christ.

I wish it hadn’t taken this situation to knock me off my feet and really open my eyes.

Would you pray with me for this family? Would you lift them up? Would you also pray for real heart change for me too – that it wouldn’t just be words? So appreciated. Thank you.

Bee Accepted

This story, Bee Accepted, within A Hive of Busy Bees by Effie Williams, is truly one of love. (I promised I would share after the last post didn’t I?) The first part of this story is about the love of a shepherd whose very job is to watch over and protect his flock. He takes them out to pasture but returns each evening to put them in a pen, the fold. As the shepherd reaches the pen he counts each sheep as it passes the gate, making sure he has each and every one.

Now I said gate, but the beauty is there was no gate on this pen that the shepherd put his sheep into. At night he would lie down in the opening of the pen acting as a living gate. That way he would know if anything came in or went out. He was their protector and provider and they heeded his voice.

The person telling this portion says wouldn’t it be nice to own the verse, “The Lord is MY shepherd”? Wouldn’t it be nice to be within the loving protection of the fold of the Lord, to be His sheep and He your shepherd? The invitation goes out so eloquently to bee accepted into God’s family.

The second part of this story begins with some men driving past a farm and noticing the sheep out in the meadow. One sheep looked a little off, like his coat was actually sewn on. Upon arriving at the farm they inquire of the farmer about the sheep. He tells them a mother sheep lost her baby and a baby lamb lost its mother. The farmer sees one and one and thinks why not make two? He puts the lost baby with the grieving mother to see if she will take it as her own. She goes near the little lamb and then starts to buck and kick. Before serious damage is done to the baby the farmer takes the lamb out of the pen. He puts the mother back in the pen with her little dead lamb and finds she calms down immediately. He figures she knows her baby by its smell. Getting desperate to make this situation work and to save the living baby lamb he decides to take the coat off the dead lamb and put it around the living one. Once the coat was tied on he reintroduced the little lamb and the grieving mother. She came near again and found that what she smelled was familiar and so she began to nurse the lamb. She accepted the little lamb as her own.

As the family talks over this story it becomes this beautiful depiction of the Lord and his love for us, his lost sheep. How when He looks at us and sees us, sin and all, we just aren’t acceptable to him. However when we choose Jesus, when we are welcomed into the fold of God, we are given a new coat, a new skin, the cloak of Christ. From then on when the Father looks at us he sees the cloak of His Son and we are accepted.

My retelling just cannot do this chapter justice. Such a sweet, sweet message of the love of a Father and the lengths He went to so that we wouldn’t have to be lost but rather accepted as members of His fold.

Summer Reading

I read the whole Mitford Series by Jan Karon. It is just a wonderful set of books about an older man of the cloth and his everyday life lived in small town America. Nothing flashy or highly romantic to speak of and it isn’t needed. You’ll know what I mean if you decide to pick up the  first novel. : )

The thing I most appreciated about the books was although these are a popular main stream series, having won New York Bestseller status, Ms. Karon clearly and deliberating talks of Jesus and a relationship with him. There are several scenes within the books where people pray to receive Christ into their hearts.

It is hard to encompass the whole 9 book series in a brief synopsis. I’ll just highlight three big quotes that really got me.

When talking with a person who attended a Christian church of a different denomination whom he had invited to his church the person replied, “I don’ know nothin’ about nothin’ but Baptists. I guess th’ rest is all pretty different.”

Here’s the part that got me, the reply of this man of the cloth.

 “The key is a relationship with Jesus Christ. If we get that right, the differences usually matter less than we like to think.”

Wow. Can I get an Amen?

Another phrase this man often said throughout the series-

“Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.”

Lastly he would mention the ‘prayer that never fails’.

“Thy will be done.”

It is nice when a book preaches to you! I took some notes and the Lord spoke to me on a few of my own ‘issues’. I’ll not bore you with details. I’ll just suffice it to say this series is well worth the read if you have the time and you enjoy fiction.

(The first two quotes were taken from Light From Heaven, book 9. That last quote was spread throughout several of the books.)

I am currently reading Little Pilgrim’s Progress. I was reading it because someone recommended reading it to the kids’. (I like to read some books first before sharing with the kids. They haven’t heard any of it yet.) I don’t think it is so much for the kids’ as it is for me! Straight to the heart, I’ll say that much. More later.

Hope your summer included a few good reads. Any you want to mention?

The Power Source

“Mom! Zeke unplugged the computer!”

(This is big going’s on since Isaiah loves to play his Jump Start World. Interrupting or rather disrupting his time? A big no, no.)

“K, I’m coming.”

“The cord is wrapped around his leg. He’s stuck.”

“He sure is.”

“Mom, the screen got all dark.”

“I know Honey, that’s because it isn’t plugged in to the power source.”

Well, well. There it is. You are walking a bit in the dark because you aren’t plugged in to THE power source. Uhmm hmmm. I hear it, Lord. Preach it to me.