I had a terribly bad scare earlier today. I was giving the kids bathes - everyone gets their own turn. :) So Isaiah went first. (He usually does as he is the first one upstairs and naked once the words 'bath time' leave my mouth!) Then the Katie girl had her turn and lastly Kiersten went. I tend to leave Kiersten and Isaiah alone for 10 minutes or so to play before I come back and they get cleaned up.
Today when I walked back in the bathroom to check on Kiersten she was laying on her belly with her head sideways and her eyes closed. I thought she had drowned! My heart stopped, albeit just for that one second when she wasn't moving. She sat up right away and could tell something wasn't right with me. I was so terrified. I had to move out of her site so she wouldn't see me crying and getting myself back together.
She had been laying down (in the 3 inches or so of water) on her belly to get as warm as possible. Why she didn't just start washing herself up once the water became cold in turn making her cold and get out, I don't know.
All I can say is for that moment when I thought she had drowned it was awful. We have been so at odds lately and I have not been the most loving, kind or gentle in my thoughts or words towards her. It just further confirms that I need to pray more about my attitude towards my children and just for my children in general. I would have been so torn up had she actually died given the way I have been treating her.
I have been trying to get myself to attempt this 7X7 deal...praying 7 specific scriptures daily for 7 days over each child. I was going to modify my scriptures slightly from the ones Miss Angie used as my children don't leave the house nor take a bath each day (scandalous I know!) But the more I thought over what I am actually praying for my kids I think those scriptures had best stay right where they are! Working on it. Ask me about it in a few days...please.
3 comments:
I have had this fear in a manner of speaking...there have been a few times when kiddos have disappeared from my sight in crowded places like parks etc. I have gone through severe panic attacks looking for them. I keep telling myself that they are fine until I find them then I totally lose it. These are times when I just kick myself for having a bad attitude. Praying really does help so much even though I don't do the 7X7 thing. I don't think I could commit to something that big. Maybe in smaller chunks. Right now, I am trying to get into the habit of getting Aidan to pray with me on the way to school. I will let you know how it goes.
I feel for you. I have just finished holding the baby through her afternoon nap, and had time to think about your situation.
You really have a lot on your plate, with the homeschooling, babycare, disciplining, house, tutoring, etc. It sounds like you only get help with cooking the evening meal. Is there anything that can be let go? I know you won't let the schooling go, but how about the tutoring? Can you resume it when the baby is older? If not, let the kids watch some guilt-free TV every afternoon so you can put your feet up and at least have a cup of cocoa. I understand these angry feelings, and I know they come from having too little leisure time. We were designed to have leisure time. You aren't getting it, girl. I will pray for you. I really, really, feel your pain.
How are you this week? Praying for you.
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